David, the Depressed King
We are first introduced to David in 1 Samuel 16:13. God has decided Saul has to go, so he sends Samuel to Jesse's house because the new king lives there. Jesse's older sons are paraded before Samuel, but God has not chosen them. The older brothers have been passed over in favor of the youngest. The youngest, David, finally appears. Samuel anoints him with the oil. That surely had to hurt the older ones' feelings! The Spirit of the Lord came powerfully on David from that day on.
As the youngest son, he was charged with carrying messages back and forth between his older brothers and his father. on one of these trips back to his brothers, he saw Goliath, a giant of a man taunting the Israelite armies. David was affronted that a pagan would speak badly to God's army. His older brother heard how David talked to the men and was embarrassed because he knew the Israelite army was afraid to go against the giant. So, what do older brothers do when embarrassed by the truth spoken by a younger brother? They get angry at the younger brother. This was the scenario in which David was finally introduced to King Saul. David has volunteered to fight Goliath. He was insistent about it even though the older men tried to dissuade him. David ended up fighting that giant and chopping off Goliath's head with his own sword. David was so confident in God's ability and strength that he stepped out and won. Wow! Talk about an emotional high. Because David demonstrated faith in God, the Israelite army discovered their strength and faith and routed the Philistine army. Everything David did from that time on was successful "Whatever Saul asked David to do, David did it successfully. So, Saul made him a commander over the men of war, an appointment that was welcomed by the people and Saul's officers alike." (1 Samuel 18:5). Sadly, all that success did come with a dark side, primarily from King Saul's jealousy. When David and the army returned from battle, the women would sing and dance in the streets, "Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands." It was the end of the good times for David.
Unfortunately, emotional highs are usually followed by emotional lows. Where previously David was held in high esteem by all, now David must hide from Saul, who has already tried to kill him twice. Saul sent him away with 1,000 men to fight in wars. "David continued to succeed in everything he did, for the Lord was with him. When Saul recognized this, he became even more afraid of him. But all Israel and Judah loved David because he was so successful at leading his troops into battle." (1 Samuel 18:12-13)
On the one hand David is hated, and on the other, loved. Talk about confusing. From then on, David was constantly running away from Saul, hiding in the desert. He had been anointed as Israel's new king, but here he was living in caves, hanging out with a bunch of mercenaries. From the palace to poverty. It was all so unfair! All David did was serve God to the best of his ability, but what was his reward? The hatred of the king and a bounty on his head.
Do you think David thought about the unfairness of it all at night when he looked up at the cave's ceiling? Isn't it at night when we are alone with our thoughts that the negativity and depression make their presence felt the most? I bet he missed his good friend Jonathan and even his bossy older brothers. how peaceful it had been when he was in the field with the sheep playing his harp, listening to the comforting sounds of the night and the occasional bleat of a sheep.
I think it is in the nighttime that we have our most challenging struggles with depression. During the day, we can distract ourselves with work or people, but at night, it is just us and our thoughts. What did David do on the nights when he was running and hiding? My best is that he was composing new psalms. Listen to part of Psalm 143:
"Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my plea!
Answer me because you are faithful and righteous
Don't put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you.
My enemy has chased me, he has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.
I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear'
...Don't turn away from me, or I will die..."
David's life consisted of running and hiding for over ten years. Ten years of wondering where he would get the food to feed all his men. Ten years of moving from cave to cave, ensuring water was nearby. Ten years of struggling to get the necessities of life. Listen to the cries of his heart during that time.
"O Lord, why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when I am in trouble?" Psalm 10:1
"My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" Psalm 22:1
"Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in distress Tears blur my eyes. My body and soul are withering away. I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness." Psalm 31:9-10
Was David depressed? It certainly sounds like he was. How did he handle his depression? The first thing he did was express his emotions. He didn't bottle them or bury them. He was a warrior, esteemed by all the other warriors. Yet, he wasn't afraid to cry. "My eyes are swollen with weeping." Way too often we hide from our emotions. We bury them, ignore them, and pretend they aren't there. The only problem with that action plan is that the emotions do not stay buried. They always come back and usually in a more harmful way. My office is filled with clients who have buried emotions and wonder why they are having difficulty today in their relationships or pursuits. We must go back and unearth those buried emotions and give them air so they can be released.
The next thing David did was to keep his thoughts and focus on God. Had he wallowed in his negative emotions, he would have sunk deeper into that pit. He was still in the pit, but he had confidence that God would lift him out and set him on firm footing in time. That confidence and trust in God's goodness kept him afloat until God rescued him.
KEY THOUGHTS
Nighttime is often the hardest time when depressed. Make sure you have something to do that keeps you occupied and keeps your thoughts off yourself. Focus on God and others.
Expect emotional lows after an emotional high. You will be less likely to slip into depression.
We must acknowledge our hurts before we can heal from them.
Keep your focus on God during the trial. Your thoughts determine your emotions.
Experience your emotions instead of burying them. The emotions are always worse after being buried.
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